It's said that "Love conquers all", "All you need is love", "To find love is to find true happiness". There are so many little quotes and cliches I could list that could go on forever. It's so easy to believe all those things to be true, and of all people I've always been a hopeless romantic; a girl who always wears her heart on her sleeve. But the more and more serious things get between Doug and I, the more and more I think about the "reality" of love. However depressing and souless that sounds, it's hard not to look at the facts and realize that in most cases there isn't the mentality of a happily ever after or to death do us part.
The sad truth is that in America 50% percent of first marriages, 67% of second and 74% of third marriages end in divorce. Of those percentages the highest divorce rate are people who are married between the ages of 20-24 years old. I can happily say that my parents break that norm. But just because my entire family on both sides have no history of divorce doesn't mean that I can't be the first to break that trend. Obviously no one goes into a marriage planning on getting divorced, but at the same time I feel like the it's easy for people to get married on a whim because they know that they aren't "stuck". Its as easy to end a relationship now a days as it is to begin one. Having that easy out makes things seem more appealing to those who may be a little hesitant to commit to something as longterm & binding as marriage.
The top 5 causes of divorce are [in no particular order] infidelity (cheating), physical abuse, emotional abuse, incompatable personalities, and financial problems. Financial problems was reported as being the most frequent argument. When you think about "all you need is love" do you honestly practice what you preach and believe that? Because I thought I did. Then I realized that sometimes you need money just as much as you need love, especially when money is one of the leading causes of divorce in America. I began to realize LOVE in of itself is a money making industry. The average cost of a wedding in the Plymouth-Canton area according to an internet study was over $30,000. That's a lot of money to cough up to declare your love in front of your family and friends. That doesn't even include the cost of wedding/engagement rings (average price $4,000), honeymoon, house, etc that goes along with being a newly wed. Tally all those up and you have one hefty Mastercard bill.
I've never thought that having a show-y wedding or the biggest engagement ring in the world meant that you are more loved, or have more love to give than someone else in lesser circumstances. But it just comes to show the role that greed plays in our lives, or the lives of our loved ones at a certain point of time. It makes it hard to believe that "love conquers all" when so often it's the love of money or greed that consumes our lives. Especially when it hits home like it does for me.
Doug is almost exactly 1,000 miles away. We do our own things and live our own lives out everyday. Marriage is a difficult thing to think about when you have that distance between a person and thinking about paying for a wedding and then buying a house or condo or whatever seems like a distant and unpromising dream. What is holding me back... love??? or money?? And if love really does conquer all why can't I get it into my head that money isn't an issue?
I am really conflicted.
Current Mood: 
contemplative
Current Music: Fiona Apple
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confused
thankful
accomplished
blank
relieved
cranky
nauseated
bored